For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.
So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.The Staying Philosophy (Everyday Isa)
I thought I learned my lesson.
But no, my attitude towards death is still freaking inauthentic.
I still take people for granted, especially the ones I love. Why is this? Is it because it’s so convenient to take them for granted? Or because I know they are always gonna be there? I am a fucking hypocrite.
Worse, I take myself for granted. I push myself to my physical limits and in the process I end up abusing my poor, stressed out body.
Recent deaths of people I’ve come to know made me realize that I am not, in any way and in any circumstance, entitled to this life. This life is a gift and I ought to take care of it, to be grateful for it.
I know it’s cliche but I’m just deeply annoyed at the fact that I lose sight of this fact very often. I should have learned this by heart, by mind, by soul when my father passed away fourteen months and a day ago. The materialistic energy of life blinds me from the true heart of the matter - that death is real, that it is very real. That if God wills my heart to stop beating, it can actually happen and that’s it. That would be the end of it. That would become of my life, my ideas, my memories - me, a mere body, a lifeless, useless thing.
I wonder if people can ever really develop an authentic attitude towards death. It’s difficult to stay on track when every single day you are obliged to deal with superficiality, excess, consumption, and all worldly ideologies. You succumb and give in. Why? Because you cannot just exclude yourself from participating in these things. Because you are a living, breathing being. You still need these things to thrive. Whatever arguments you may have against these, these activities are still part of life, albeit the fact that they can be destructive when not taken in moderation.
This is wake up call and I’m so glad to finally have a moment to snap out of this stupid trance. If there’s an award for the most dangerous feeling in the world, it would go to the feeling of the sense of entitlement. Nothing really belongs to us - not even our own existence and our own bodies. We are all bound by the limits of space and time. In this life, we are all just passing through and sadly, we forget this more and more as we engage with the world. I’m not saying we should keep ourselves in isolation and disengage because that’s not healthy either. I just want people to realize that everything is a gift, that we ourselves are gifts, and our hearts should be overflowing with gratitude because of this grace. I think that if only we act with a little more gratitude in our hearts and minds, our world would become a less dreary place to live in and there wouldn’t be any need for wars and conflicts and petty misunderstandings. Realizing another’s being as a gift entails that we attempt to tread the longest distance from self to another, from me to you, to create a space for dialogue and understanding. And if we all come together to do just that, that would be the moment where the world would shine brighter than the sun.
Because it is love and not just light that is radiated by each one.